XpressOutLoud

When you look for articles/blogs/comments about how to fit in little comes up. Maybe some about teenager; one would think that only teens feel like an outsider, but what about adults fitting in? May times during life, adults are obligated to fit in as well; relocating, joining an association or club, or changing jobs.

For those who have relocated, the fact of being in a completely different place can be nerve wrecking and one has so many things to do that fitting in, is not one of the top priorities (unless you are moving into a dorm). For those who have joined a club or an association, they at least know they have a common interest or goal with the others.

But what happens in the work place? With so many changing jobs because of the economic situation, some have found themselves not only in new jobs but in new work fields all together. They are truly outside the loop, and though this might not diminish their abilities, work ethic or their commitment; it is an obstacle to overcome.  And let’s face it, there is much more on the line when one finds a new job than when you move or join a club.

So how does an adult fit in? Do the same principles apply as when one was young? Depending on what kind of childhood you had this is an issue that most kids have been through one way or another and some more than once. I for one traveled a lot because of my father’s work. This I think gave me a thick skin; I learned to be a bit superficial and to put up a persona just for the occasion. But I don’t mean this in a bad way, though it took time to know me and of course not everyone liked me, I learned how to portray the person I knew would be liked without losing me; which I must say is hard and is what loses some kids when growing up. They would do just about anything just to fit in, and some unfortunately do. But that is a completely different story…

So, back to fitting in the work place. Now as I’ve become an adult, time has changed my point of view about fitting in. Though I do not wish to be an outsider any more than I did as a child, I don’t want to be accepted unless it is me that people are accepting. I will always be polite and courteous. I will always respect people and their opinions but I do not wish to be friends with everyone I meet.  They have passed from my friends to be to coworkers. And that’s ok I don’t need to be invited to every party any more.

As the years pass I have found out that true friendship is hard to have and harder to keep. So if you are in this situation. Just relax and be yourself. Always remember that the main thing about fitting in is being a part of something and as you work with your coworkers on different projects you begin to have things in common. Just remember to be polite and respectful and except nothing less from your coworkers and things will move along easier.  So for those with new jobs out there, congratulations and good luck!