XpressOutLoud

I have recently commented about parenting your parents in my case, my mother. I have also, recently commented about this year’s holidays. I mentioned that we consider our income and work on a budget. So if I am out buying my children’s  holiday gifts since August , imagine what happens when we want to buy a car, for example.

We pretty much know what big expenses we want to carry out during the year. This way we can save or set aside money for those expenses and program them. Well, to bring all of these points together, this year my brother and I had decided that we were going to install radiant heating floors in my mother’s house.

There are many reasons why we chose this particular system. First and for most because the fact that a heating system will keep the house warm during the cold months of the year. And then, because it can be a “do it yourself” project, at least for us that was very important. As I mentioned my mother is now 80, and one sure thing is that as you grow old being able to keep warm is very hard.

My mother has expressed that it hurts her bones when it’s cold. Little can be done other than to get warm. And this is what made us decide that the best option for warming the house would be a radiant heating floor. There is no chimney and installing one would mean mayor remodeling and a probable hazard for we don’t want her turning it on and off. She could keep on using the small portable electric heaters but they too are dangerous. She forgets to turn them off and can get burnt if she is too close to them.  Now, the radiant heating floor is simple to use, safe and we can install it throughout the house; it’s a one story. This way the entire house will be heated not just one area.

So what’s the problem? Well you see my mother has her house (that she lives in) and an apartment that she rents. Out of all of her income the apartment’s rent constitutes more than 50%. And now she decided not to renew the lease. So, now there is no money to do what we had planned to do. We don’t have the complete amount of money to buy the floor and I still have to send it to my brother for him to install. We are sure that we will find a solution before winter arrives. It will have to come out of our pockets, which isn’t terribly bad since we had been saving for this all year, but that isn’t the point.

What I am worried about is my mother and her personal financial stability. I have no idea what she plans to do with an empty apartment and nearly no income. She can sell and put the money in the bank, but she will not get as much as she does if she rents (and that is if she sells fast and at a good price).

Every year it seems it becomes harder for her to see the big picture. We believe that part of her problem is that there are no problems. She is pretty much “set for life” if you will (or she was before she decided not to lease the apartment). She wakes up every morning with little to deal with or think about. There are no challenges or problems really. She is a healthy woman and though age has caught up, she can function perfectly well. But she is alone with little to do and nothing to look forward to. We always say we wish for peace; maybe a little trouble is what spices up life.

Well she is in trouble now. Let’s see if this is what she needs. We’ll have to be very careful and keep a close eye on her so it doesn’t get out of control and jump in if need be. I just can’t see me or my brother stepping in and taking away her money for us to administer for her. It will be a blow to her and our relationship. I can’t imagine living the last days of your life feeling resentment toward your children. How can we do that to her?

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